Defective Eevee: a tale of one Pokemon's struggles
by xdeidara-itachix
Summary: The story of a french maid named Todd and his adventures with a defective eevee. Complete parody and very random. You've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**XDeidara: This is a story written by my good friend Squirrel. The chapters will be very short but there will be many chapters so you don't really have to worry about them being short. Enjoy the first chapter!**

Squirrel: HOKAY OMG HAI GUYS! It's me, Squirrel/Evy/whatever! I LOVE YOU! This is the story of a defective eevee! IT'S PRETTY GREAT. SO. UHM. One of mah friends helped me write it ... she came up with Todd and his French maid-ness. And a lot of the plot. KAY SO READ ON! BAI!

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Meet Todd. Todd was a French maid who worked in a castle-place. He also made and sold pickles illegally for money so he could have enough to live on and stop working at the castle-place.

One day Todd was working in one of the rooms. He was dusting some bookshelves. Suddenly heard the sound of breaking glass. He walking out of the room to investigate. Todd heard the sounds coming from another room at the end of the hallway. He walked over, opened the door and saw a strange sight.

Sitting in the middle of the room, looking slightly frightened and chewing on pieces of a broken vase was an eevee with eyebrows the size of horse brushes. It was a defective eevee, and it had just broken one of the queen-woman's most precious vases.

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Squirrel: A word of advice: never shout "fire" in a crowded fire.

**XDeidara: And that's the first chapter. It's short i know but i gave you a heads up already! Tell us what you think of it and Squirrel will give me more to post for you. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

Squirrel: Soooo.... here's chapter two. About the whole crocodile feces thing ... yeah, that was my friend. As was most of this chapter. I have to say, this story is funnier when told out loud.

Anyway, read on!

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"You certainly are a defective eevee," said Todd as blood poured out of the eevee's mouth. Todd picked the eevee up and brought him into his pickling room to get cleaned up. He carefully lowered the eevee into the barrel of pickling juices. The eevee continued chewing glass.

When Todd was done he put sixteen and a half jars of pickles in his bag and left the castle. He decided the best place to go to was the forest. And so he ran.

When they got to the forest, Defective Eevee got a little startled, so he ran around. He ran right into a tree and poked his eye out with a branch.

"Oh my god!' Todd shouted.

Suddenly a finger grew out of Defective Eevee's eye socket.

"Oh my god!" Todd repeated.

At the end of the finger, an eye grew. Todd fainted. The finger pulled back into the socket and nothing looked like it was wrong. Todd woke back up. Defective Eevee went over to the river to wash up, but the river was infected with crocodile feces. Defective Eevee went in anyway. But when he came back out, his legs fell off!

"Gasp!" shouted Todd.

Defective Eevee rolled away from the river. He stopped right in front of Todd. Suddenly, Defective Eevee burst into flames! And then eight legs grew. One leg has seventeen toes. Todd fainted again.

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THE END.

Naw, I'm just fooling. You're not off the hook yet! ;D

**XDeidara: Tell us what you think please. We'd like to know! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three.**

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Todd stared at Defective Eevee. Defective Eevee stared back. Todd stared at Defective Eevee. Defective Eevee stared back. Todd stared at Defective Eevee. Defective Eevee stared back. Todd stared at Defective Eevee. Defective Eevee stared back. Todd stared at Defective Eevee. Defective Eevee stared back. Todd stared at Defective Eevee. Defective Eevee stared back.

Then Defective Eevee got startled again (for no _apparent_ reason) and climbed up a tree. He burst into flames. The tree lit on fire. The whole forest lit on fire. Todd lit on fire. Todd stopped, dropped and rolled out of the forest. Defective Eevee climbed down the tree and followed Todd into the meadow beside the forest. Then Defective Eevee saw something at the edge of the flaming forest.

A mate.

Defective Eevee galloped / stumbled / tripped over to the female eevee with excitement. Then he climbed on top of her and …

After he was done, the female eevee fell unconscious. Defect Eevee brought her over to Todd and snuck her into the French maid's bag. Then he climbed in the bag too. And then he repeated what he'd done earlier by the forest, if not a little more awkwardly. When he finished, an egg popped out. And then another, and another, until there were hundreds – thousands - _billions!_ They all tumbled out of the bad, along with Defective Eevee. The female eevee was now dead.

All the eggs started hatching. The babies were all defective! But then they burst into flames and died, except for one which made weird shrieking noises. Todd screamed like a girl.

"STEP ON IT! STEP ON IT!"

And he did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter four**

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Suddenly, sounds of crashing were heard in the blazing forest. A charizard ran out, but not just any charizard. This charizard was defective! When it opened its mouth, one could see it had two square teeth on the top and a whole row of sharp points on the bottom. Its entire tail was one fire and it had elephant feet and a long neck. Two deformed wings grew out of its neck. The charizard – which was female, one could tell because of its long eyelashes – roared and then waddled over to Todd, who fainted again. Then Defective Eevee's legs fell off until four remained. The one containing seven toes was gone as well.

When Todd regained consciousness, he felt hungry. He didn't feel like eating any of his pickles, so he grabbed Defective Eevee's discarded legs, brought them over to the firey woods and roasted them. When they were finished, he gave one to Defective Eevee, on to the charizard and ate one himself.

It was delicious.

Todd decided to head off to town. He figured his new Pokémon could use some healing. But before he left he decided to catch the charizard. He opened his bag to get a poke-ball, but saw the dead female eevee. He gasped and closed the bag. That shocked the charizard, and she lifted off into the air, screeching as she wobbled in the wind.

Todd picked up Defective Eevee and walked the three miles to town. When they arrived, Todd went into the Pokémon and walked up to the front desk.

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**XDeidara: If you've read up to this point, you either have no life or you think it's the funniest shit you've ever read. Well, i think it's pretty funny but that's just me. I didn't write it or anything, that's Squirrel that writes this. Anyway, reviews are welcome just don't flame this. We told you it would be random and messed up so there's no reason to rant about it. Thanks.**


End file.
